It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
