It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
