no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
