I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
