I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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