do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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