why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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