That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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