go do what you do best...puke behind churches
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The adults are the big ones right?
why is half of my head shaved?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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