I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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