So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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