im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
