Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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