Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
