how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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