I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
