What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
