oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
