I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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