so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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