I am puke
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
