i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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