she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
