on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
