i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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