Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
