Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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