nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
