I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
