so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
