remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
