By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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