therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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