Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
