She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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