how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
