I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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