What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
