all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
