I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
