Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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