it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
