I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
