maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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