i think my tv is drunk
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
