i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
