bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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