So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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