He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
