I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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