I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
